Expectation Management

My soul, wait thou only upon God; for my expectation is from him. Psm62:5

My husband and I just celebrated 12 years of marriage this year. The year 1996 was not a banner year in history - a few significant events like the capture of the suspected Unabomber, the re-election of Bill Clinton, the bombing of the Olympic Park in Atlanta. Still, for us, it was the best year because it was when we began our great adventure of faith together. Of course, we had our expectations of what the coming years would bring. One of those things was a large family. We started late (34 and 38) but that never stopped us from expecting that God would do miracles.

The months passed and we hoped and prayed and the news we were looking for never came. Like many other couples, we were faced with the fact that we might not be able to conceive. So we began the typical journey for couples like us down the long road of tests to find out what we could do in order facilitate that miracle of conception. The end of that year found me recovering from what began as a simple 2 hour outpatient procedure and ended up being 8 hours and a 23 hour stay in the hospital. I had advanced endometriosis and all the scarring they removed from the surgery, I was told, would grow back within a month.

Miracles come in all shapes and sizes. But they all boil down to one thing - God doing the impossible to bring glory to Himself and further His Kingdom. Like, Paul, I prayed for healing. But the Lord chose not to answer that prayer. Instead, He gave me the grace to surrender my expectations of having children to Him and to pray that somehow my infertility might lead to furthering His Kingdom. Amy Carmichael once said "in acceptance lieth peace" and I can honestly say that from that point forward, I was at peace.

When we came to Cambodia as missionaries, it never crossed my mind to adopt. Child traffiking was such a big problem here that my husband and I were very wary. Twice Tom was offered a baby for $100. Cambodians thought it strange that we had no children and would ask us often if we didn't want any. My language teacher pitied me and would tell me so in her very direct Cambodian way. She had two other students who were older like us that had come to work with a non-government organization that had started taking care of people with HIV/AIDS. She introduced us. That began our journey down the road of adoption.

The Lord has given us the stewardship of four beautiful Cambodian children. Each one orphaned by HIV/AIDS (except one whose mom has not yet passed away). Thankfully all four children were spared from the disease. We are just in awe of what God has done in all our lives to put us together as a family. And because of this opportunity, God is opening up opportunities for others to come and help children who have contracted HIV/AIDS who otherwise would be "throw away" children. What a wonderful thing to be able to look back and see how God chose to answer prayer and to use my physical weakness to further His plan here in Cambodia.